New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
