My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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