Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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