It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
