Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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