i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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