Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
