I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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