hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
