his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
