dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
