I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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