There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
