Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
