What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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