butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
