what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
