we made out on top of his cat.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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