I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
