Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
