JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
