Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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