Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
