That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Come on in and take your pants off
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