THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
