If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
