Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
