Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
