He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
