You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
