just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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