Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
