my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
