That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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