i would punch a child for taco bell
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
