Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
