Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize