please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
