butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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