last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
where am i from again
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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