What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
