im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
