I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
