Non-Jews are for practice
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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