we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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