he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
