what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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