A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
