I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
third nipple confirmed
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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