Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
