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wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
