TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Randomize
