just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You are a genius and a whore.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
