AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
