Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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