Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
