i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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