...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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