Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i've created a new STD.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
