It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize