whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
