dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
