Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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