is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
