I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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