Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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