Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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