The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
