i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
nutella sex= disaster
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
