I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My dick has a subreddit
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
